A Mommy of Just Boys

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It started right after my husband and I had a gender reveal party for our second little one. We both held onto the knife as we cut a slice and, lo and behold, it was blue. Another boy. I was beyond ecstatic, not only for my husband and myself, but for my oldest. He would have a friend for life. They would be just over 2 years apart. They will be best friends! Then came this: ” You know you have to try for a third now.” “Oh, you need a little girl in your life. You have to have a third!” “Don’t you miss having a little girl?” Even the minute after my little one was born, a nurse said to me “I guess we will be seeing you back here in a few years for that girl”.

My favorite one also is “Oh bless you. You have two boys”. Yes, I am certainly blessed. But, this is more like a I feel bad for you type of blessing. Um, thanks but no thanks.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I know everyone means well. It is just human nature to say these things. However, it actually started to make me doubt myself about having just boys for awhile. I did a lot of soul searching, and a lot of crying over the girl that would most likely never be. There was a definite void that I felt and It was really starting to put a damper on my pregnancy, and for a few months after my little one was born.

Then I started thinking. Is it that bad that I just have boys? Will my life be so much more simpler if I had a girl? Is this societies view on this topic talking? Or do I really need a girl to be complete? I know people who have just boys and they seem happy and content. Is it just me?

Then a view of my life 20 and 30 years from now played over and over in my head. My mom, sister and I send group texts all the time. Who will I group text? (If there is still such a thing as texting then.) Who will I go shopping with? Who is going to pick me up when I am old and can’t drive a car anymore? Then it dawned on me. Why does a girl have to do all of that? My boys may not want to come shopping with me, but I am sure they will drive me places when I get older. And a simple “Hi” sent in a text seems simple but will make this Mommy super excited.

Yes, there are some things that I know for sure will probably never happen. I will never know what it is like to put tiny pink bows on little wispy hair. I will never know what it is like to shop in the girl’s department for my own kids (although, that does’t really count at Target anymore. So, yay me!) I will never know what it is like to throw a bridal or baby shower. Or go prom dress shopping. And, yes, I will always just be the mother in law. This last one scares me more then anything else. Please boys, marry someone who likes me. I know I already love them for loving you.

But there are lots of things that I already have that make my life so amazing and that I wouldn’t change for the world.

I know that I will always be there to kiss scraped knees and to give extra big hugs too.

I know what it is like to be around endless energy and to always be on the go.

I know what it is like to race cars just one more time before bed.

I know what it is like when your little boy looks up at you and, out of no where, says “I love you so much Mommy”. And then gives you the biggest hug before he runs away and leaves you stunned and blessed.

I know what it is like to have the craziest day and then to cuddle at night while we read a book or watch just one more Paw Patrol (because 7 episodes in one day is not enough. Bad Mommy of the year award over here, but, in the words of my grandfather “What are you gonna do?”).

Having a girl would be nice. But, I am so blessed with my amazing, loving, and healthy kids. I couldn’t have asked for anything better. So, the next time you see a Mommy of just boys, think twice before you ask them about “going for the girl”. I highly doubt they want to talk about their procreating time with you. And, in actuality, they are most likely, extremely happy.

Summer fun project!

Summer here is halfway over. It makes me sad that these carefree days are almost over. But there is still a month left. And what better thing to do then to have fun!

Of course, summer days are not always sunny and beautiful. On one of those recent rainy days I wanted to find something fun to do in the house. I came across this on one of those mommy summer hacks post that is going around. It seemed really easy and it really was.

These are the materials you need:
1 bed sheet
Washable paint
Paintbrushes (optional)
Cookie Cutters (optional)
Heavy tape
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I first looked in the dollar store for the bed sheet. They didn’t have white, or any light colors for that matter. I wound up going to Target and got a full size white sheet for $14.99. It was slightly more than I wanted to spend. However, since it was a full size, I cut it in half and saved one piece for another time. So , in actuality, it came to $7.50 for each piece. That was the price of the sheet at the dollar store. So it was a win-win.
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The rest was pretty easy. I poured the paint into paper bowls. I gave my son paintbrushes to use. You can also use cookie cutters. Or you can use your hands and feet, like mine did. This occupied about 30 minutes. I did think it was going to take longer but he wanted a snack. When he figured out he can paint his hands and feet and then walk all over the sheet he really got into it. I didn’t get a picture of the entire sheet. This was of a small section.
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I definitely recommend this project for any kid if any age. Especially with the really hot weather forecasted for this week.

I’d love to see your final products.
Have fun!!

Faded feathers and a box radio

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It was a typical morning. Make breakfast. Feed the little ones (and gulp down some food myself). Clean the dishes. Brush teeth. Use the potty (yes, my oldest is almost potty trained!! Woohoo!!). Change diaper. Get dressed. I needed to run some errands that morning but my biggest one was having mini meltdowns. And this is where I decided to play some music. I searched for Copacabana by Barry Manilow and said to my oldest, “Get ready for some fun”. As soon as the song started I started dancing and he followed suit. It was so cute watching him dance and watching my little squeal in delight as he watched. We danced around the house as we got ready. It took us five minutes to leave the house. It usually takes a half hour. This will definitely be a strategy I use from now on.
Later that day we were having dinner and my oldest said ” Mommy, play Lola”. I had to think for a minute. Then it hit me: he was talking about Copacabana. ” Her name was Lola”. Of course I played it. And laughed at how he remembered the song. I then started thinking of my own life. Music has always been a big part of who I am. Some of my first memories involve music. Hearing Frank Sinatra songs was one of my favorites. Every morning my grandparents would turn on their little box radio on top of their refrigerator. I don’t remember the channel, or if it still exists, but 1940s big band music would play throughout the morning. I loved hearing it. My grandfather would listen to big band music on his big radio in the living sometimes. Benny Goodman, Ella Fitzgerald, Nat King Cole, and, of course, Frank Sinatra could be heard. He would sing along. It was comforting to me.

I have gone through different phases of the kinds of music I listen to. But I am happy that my music choice is eclectic. I can listen to anything and pretty much enjoy it. I love that music can make you happy, sad, thoughtful. Just about any emotion.

Music is definitely a large part of my kids’ lives. I hope it remains that way. And I hope “Lola” is one of those songs that when they hear will give them a source of comfort.

** The picture I used was the only thing I had close enough to feathers. A mom always knows how to improvise, even if you are stretching it a lot ;).

Summertime musings

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Hello my fellow readers. Time flies for two reasons for me: 1. I have two kids and 2. It is summertime. Sorry for my delay in posts. I still think about this blog and all of you everyday. I find topics to write about all around me. So, here is my latest and greatest.

My oldest lovely loves to go to the park. So much so that I need to spell it whenever I refer to it when he is in earshot. (I actually think he knows how to spell it now, so eventually I will need a new tactic.) One day a few weeks ago I decided to take my two babies to the park. It was a gorgeous mid May afternoon. After pushing my big guy on the swings, we headed over to the slide. The park was pretty empty except for a few kids from a local daycare center. I was sitting on a bench feeding my little guy and watching my oldest go down the slide. A few benches over I hear one of the daycare center teachers say” What are you a girl? What are you a girl? You can’t like the color pink. Haha. Everyone look (insert name of boy here) likes pink.” And then all the kids, and other teachers, proceed to laugh. I was horrified. A few moments later a little girl fell and started crying. She kept saying “I want my mommy” over and over again. The teacher that was in charge of her group said ” ugh, what time is your mommy coming to pick you up crybaby?”. Now, at this point, I was fuming! I politely asked one of the teachers what daycare center this was. She gave me the name and handed me a business card in case I was interested. I looked at her and said “Oh no. I want to make sure never to put my children in this establishment. And tomorrow I will be contacting your director about the awful scene I just witnessed.”. She was stunned and didn’t say anything. I got my oldest and we left the park.
Let me be honest. I definitely lost my patience when I was in the classroom. But I taught older kids. You can reason with older children. These poor babies were just that: babies. I wanted to cry watching their faces.

Another observation I had just today was our society’s reliance on cell phones. I know I have written about this before but I can’t help but notice. We were at the park again and this time there was a larger group of kids. As I was watching my oldest, I happen to see a little boy trying to get his mom’s attention. She kept saying “One minute” as she searched on her cell phone and talked to her other mommy friends. Her son left and was running around like crazy. He wasn’t watching and bumped into another kid. He started crying and the mom came over. She started blaming the other kid right away. Of course, she never saw what happened since her attention was on her phone and conversation. Had she been watching (like I was), she would have known that it was her son who bumped into the other kid.

I get it. I’ve been engrossed in my cell phone too. But not at the park or any public place. These babies need our attention and support. Leave the cell phone usage for nap times (unless it is an emergency).

Let me know what you think on any of the topics discussed today. I love to hear from all of you :).

Fiction in 50: The Truth is…..

***Oops! The prompt was suppose to be “The Trouble With…”. Oh well. I don’t know where my mind is. It was so good that I’m going to keep it anyway. Enjoy!
You all know my love for words. So, I am taking on another fiction story written in 50 words. No more. No less.  The prompt for this time is “The Truth Is…”. Let me know what you think.

The truth is it’s the little things that matter most. Laundry and dishes will pile up. Work will become mind numbingly mundane. But in the end all that matters is the laughter. The love. The hugs. The memories.  Time well spent where you were in the moment. That’s the truth.

You should give it a try. It is fun for the brain!

A Simple Hello

Today’s post will be a short one. But I needed to write about it. Last night right before I put my little ones to sleep, my phone rang. I didn’t recognize the number and at first I wasn’t going to answer it. I decided to answer anyway and it turned out to be my aunt. I hadn’t heard from her in awhile. She had called to say congratulations on having a new baby. It was such a great phone call and put a huge smile on my face. This aunt is one of my older aunts and she lived in an era with no emails, no texts, no video chat. In a world where technology has taken over proper social etiquette, this phone call was so sweet.

What is one thing you miss from the pre smartphone world (if you are old enough to remember)? Comment below!

Respect and Tolerance

My original post was going to be about respect and watching what you say to others. The past few weeks I have come into contact with people that need a lesson in respect. I’ll give you an example of the disrespect I’ve come across. I was food shopping with my two lovelies. My little one was sleeping and my oldest one and I were talking about the different shapes we saw in the store (once a teacher, always a teacher). An older woman passed by us and glanced our way. I didn’t think anything of it until she came back and said “Oh wow. You have two boys so close in age.  God bless you”. The way she said God bless you was more of an insult than praise. Haven’t people heard that if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say it at all. This is just a tip of the iceberg when it comes to the disrespect I’ve encountered.

Then I decided I needed to include the importance of tolerance into this as well. Where did this stem from? The Bruce Jenner interview with Diane Sawyer. I was so moved by his explanations. I think he is a very brave man. I also think he is going to give courage to many different groups in this world. I know, you’re probably saying “Mrs. Z. This guy is associated with that family”. Well, first of all he has been around a lot longer than those people. Second, he is teaching so many people a great lesson. People are going to ridicule. But for me, it was eye opening. I was never a popular kid in school. To be honest, I was tormented for a large part of my adolescence. Some of it was self induced. However, it had a lot to do with how I didn’t fit the “norm”. I wore black, a lot. I listened to Nine Inch Nails and Nirvana. I was the quiet kid who prayed everyday I wasn’t noticed. Looking back on it, I would have changed some parts. You know how teenage hormones can get the best of you. But I think Bruce Jenner letting everyone in on his life (which he did not have to do), will give a lot of people hope. Adults and kids alike.

As I’ve gotten older I have realized why people tend to be disrespectful or intolerant in a situation they don’t agree with. The situation must hit home. It must make them feel insecure or unsure about themselves and the only way to deal with it is to ridicule and put others down. I have a few choice words for those bullies that made my life miserable for so many years. However, I know I am better than them. So, I will keep those choice words to myself. To all of you who are amazing, keep at it. The world is better with you in it.

And to any person who is reading this that may feel down about themselves, you are amazing. And if anyone asks who told you that just tell them Mrs. Z said so. And then tell them that you know you are amazing because you are. Keep doing you!!

Love to all of you!

Boobs vs. Boobs

The breastfeeding wars. I don’t completely understand it. Why are people judging one another on how they feed their babies? Can someone be so sanctimonious about someone else’s choice? You know how I feel about this topic. I had written a post about my pumping experience with my oldest. I am currently pumping for my littlest pumpling (a term I recently found and love using!). I don’t think I am going to make the six month mark like I did the last time. But pumping is my comfort zone. I read this article about something called discreet breastfeeding. The author talks about how she was told she had to discreetly breastfeed her child when she was in public. The author then goes on to say why do women who breastfeed need to cover up in public but when women go out for fun their breasts are on full display. I for one agree with this. I pump for breastmilk because I am not comfortable with my child eating straight from the tap (again, more mommy slang) and my kids don’t have a great latch which makes it very painful for me. However, I would never ask a woman to not breastfeed in public or to cover up. That is her choice. There is definitely a double standard when it comes to this. Why can a woman dressing provocatively be acceptable but a woman feeding her child, which is completely natural, cause such controversy?

I think it is time for people to be more understanding and stop being so self righteous. There are worse things to worry about than a woman feeding her child. You know, I’m just saying.

Here is a picture of Le Pump. Yes, I gave it a fancy name. We spend so much time together. Plus, if you don’t have a sense of humor through all of this, it will drive you coocoo.
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What are your thoughts on this topic? Comment below!

You can also contact me at themrszfiles@gmail.com.

Time to get healthy!

Wow!! Time flies with two kids! My littlest is 6 weeks old already. In the vast scheme of things, that’s nothing. But it feels like he has been with us forever. With all of the love, smiles, good times(and some not so good times) it is time for mommy to pay attention to one very important person: ME.

I know it won’t be easy. I definitely did not have a super healthy diet during this pregnancy. And I kind of held onto it these past 6 weeks. Besides running after my 2 year old, exercise was nonexistent. So now it is time to get back at it. I have 10 pesky pounds that need to go!!

I am attempting to fit in 20 minutes of the treadmill at least three days a week. That will be my starting point. By April I hope to be at four days. Wish me luck. And if anyone has any suggestions on how to fit exercise in to my daily routine with two kids, please comment away!

Oh running shoes. I have missed you so!
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