It started right after my husband and I had a gender reveal party for our second little one. We both held onto the knife as we cut a slice and, lo and behold, it was blue. Another boy. I was beyond ecstatic, not only for my husband and myself, but for my oldest. He would have a friend for life. They would be just over 2 years apart. They will be best friends! Then came this: ” You know you have to try for a third now.” “Oh, you need a little girl in your life. You have to have a third!” “Don’t you miss having a little girl?” Even the minute after my little one was born, a nurse said to me “I guess we will be seeing you back here in a few years for that girl”.
My favorite one also is “Oh bless you. You have two boys”. Yes, I am certainly blessed. But, this is more like a I feel bad for you type of blessing. Um, thanks but no thanks.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I know everyone means well. It is just human nature to say these things. However, it actually started to make me doubt myself about having just boys for awhile. I did a lot of soul searching, and a lot of crying over the girl that would most likely never be. There was a definite void that I felt and It was really starting to put a damper on my pregnancy, and for a few months after my little one was born.
Then I started thinking. Is it that bad that I just have boys? Will my life be so much more simpler if I had a girl? Is this societies view on this topic talking? Or do I really need a girl to be complete? I know people who have just boys and they seem happy and content. Is it just me?
Then a view of my life 20 and 30 years from now played over and over in my head. My mom, sister and I send group texts all the time. Who will I group text? (If there is still such a thing as texting then.) Who will I go shopping with? Who is going to pick me up when I am old and can’t drive a car anymore? Then it dawned on me. Why does a girl have to do all of that? My boys may not want to come shopping with me, but I am sure they will drive me places when I get older. And a simple “Hi” sent in a text seems simple but will make this Mommy super excited.
Yes, there are some things that I know for sure will probably never happen. I will never know what it is like to put tiny pink bows on little wispy hair. I will never know what it is like to shop in the girl’s department for my own kids (although, that does’t really count at Target anymore. So, yay me!) I will never know what it is like to throw a bridal or baby shower. Or go prom dress shopping. And, yes, I will always just be the mother in law. This last one scares me more then anything else. Please boys, marry someone who likes me. I know I already love them for loving you.
But there are lots of things that I already have that make my life so amazing and that I wouldn’t change for the world.
I know that I will always be there to kiss scraped knees and to give extra big hugs too.
I know what it is like to be around endless energy and to always be on the go.
I know what it is like to race cars just one more time before bed.
I know what it is like when your little boy looks up at you and, out of no where, says “I love you so much Mommy”. And then gives you the biggest hug before he runs away and leaves you stunned and blessed.
I know what it is like to have the craziest day and then to cuddle at night while we read a book or watch just one more Paw Patrol (because 7 episodes in one day is not enough. Bad Mommy of the year award over here, but, in the words of my grandfather “What are you gonna do?”).
Having a girl would be nice. But, I am so blessed with my amazing, loving, and healthy kids. I couldn’t have asked for anything better. So, the next time you see a Mommy of just boys, think twice before you ask them about “going for the girl”. I highly doubt they want to talk about their procreating time with you. And, in actuality, they are most likely, extremely happy.